What Is So Difficult In Building New Habits?

It seems to be remarkably easy to fall into unhealthy routines.

• Eating junk food.
• Not getting enough sleep.
• Watching TV instead of going to the gym.
• Showing up to a job you hate everyday.
• Biting your nails.
• Smoking.

There’s no shortage of unhealthy and unproductive behaviors. And we all struggle with them from time to time. But why?

You want to live a healthy, fulfilling, and remarkable life. And every now and then you probably get really motivated and inspired to make a change. So how come it is more likely that this time next year you'll be doing the same thing rather than something better? Why is it so hard to stick to good habits? I believe that it is because we usually try to make changes in the wrong way. And in this answer, I'm going to share a blend of science and real­world experiences that share a better strategy for making long­term changes in your life.

Let's get started.

• Common mistakes you want to avoid.

“Your audacious life goals are fabulous. We’re proud of you for having them. But it’s possible that those goals are designed to distract you from the thing that’s really frightening you—the shift in daily habits that would mean a re–invention of how you see yourself.” - Seth Godin

What you repeatedly do (i.e. what you spend time thinking about and doing each day) ultimately forms the person you are, the things you believe, and the personality that you portray.

The most common mistake that people make is setting their sights on an event, a transformation, an overnight success they want to achieve, rather than focusing on their habits and routines.

• The three rules of creating a new habit.
• Remainder.
• Routine.
• Reward.

1. Remainder:- The trigger that indicates the behaviour. Suppose, when a phone rings. This is the remainder of what you do next. The ring act as a cue to tell you to answer the phone call or to decline it.
2. Routine:- The behaviour itself; the action you take. When a phone rings, you have the habit of answering it according to the phone call.
3. Reward:- The benefit you gain from doing the behaviour. You found out who's on the phone call. Here, your reward is your curiosity of why the other person is calling you.

If the reward is positive, then the cycle forms a positive feedback loop that tells your brain, “Next time this reminder happens, do the same thing.”

Suppose, you heard a phone ringing and there's a bad person on the other side that you do not want to talk to. Thus you decline the phone call.

Hence, this makes the habit of declining the phone most of the times you heard it ringing.

Points to remember:-

1. It takes 21 days to form a new habit.
2. It takes 21 days to break a bad habit.
3. Your remainder should be something that you do everyday.
4. Focus on the positive feedback by the reward.
5. Formation of habit takes 21 days. So, do it every day without any exceptions.
6. A bad habit should be broken.

So that's it for now. Until the next time this is Harsh Raj Gupta saying goodbye to you all.

My Worst Experience In Life

I don't know from where that sound coming.

A foggy wintering night. Overcast. Total complete silence, like a perfect night. Pin drop.

Everybody's sleeping, including me, it was as usual as always before that mysterious sound came.

8 hours ago.

I was excited to watch The Conjuring 2 & The Question Mark movie, but after watching, I was petrified a bit. All the time I'm thinking about the movies. It was horrible, especially The Question Mark.

Flash forward.

Now, exactly at 2:00AM my sleep disturbed. I get up, all of the lights were closed, suddenly I heard a sound. Sound of a glass fell on the floor and some other mysterious sounds.

"Oh man I've to see what's going on outside."

I was lying on my bed at that time when that sound came to my ears. Wearing a winter blanket. Covered my face with that. Then the same sound clamped again. Nun face of The Conjuring 2 hitting my mind second after second. The scene was chilling.

I have no courage to get up from my bed and see what's happening.

Situation got more creepy from here.

Another mysterious sound came, like someone's playing with utensils. Someone's breaking my coffee mugs.

I started sweating in that chilly night. Every second was felt like a minute. Dogs were barking outside of the house. The Question Mark, The Conjuring 2, 1920, 1920: Evil Returns all horror movies I've ever watched was like dancing in my mind.

I grabbed my phone, turn the flash on, suddenly I felt like something was crawling on my legs.

A snake.

Oh sh!t, a snake.

I moved the light towards my legs. Fewww, there was a scarf that fell on my feet, hanging on a cloth hanger, just over my legs. Kept that scarf aside, motivated myself to go towards the kitchen. Step by step moving ahead towards the kitchen. I saw a man just in front of me. Oh it was a pillar. Shining bright brown eyes was seeing me, like a monster.

At the kitchen, bright brown eyes, somehow I turned the flash light towards that horrifying eyes, but you won't believe it what I saw.

A cat, oh yes there was a cat in the kitchen, eating chapatis, a glass, oh man, there was a glass on the floor and some of the steel plates were also there. My favourite coffee mug was broken. I frightened that cat from my sight.

Aa Ha, breathed deeply. I put my butt back to bed thereafter.

Oh my god, I know I'm unable to provide you a perfect experience, but yes this was the worst experience I've ever experienced.

I heard someone's walking towards my room. Who's is this? Oh none other than my mom. “What happened? You're all sweated over.” she asked. “Nothing, just a bad dream.” I replied.
- Harsh Raj Gupta